Reading Group Guide

Discussion Questions

1. “[T]he image by which modern American women live also leave[s] something out. . . . This image—created by the women’s magazines, by advertisements, television, movies, novels, columns and books, by experts on marriage and the family, child psychology, sexual adjustment and by the popularizers of sociology and psychoanalysis—shapes women’s lives today and mirrors their dreams.” Betty Friedan first published these words in 1963 when the media’s picture of a woman as wife and mother was certainly leaving something out. Today, the media is still projecting an image of women that “mirrors their dreams.” What has changed from the image of thirty years ago and what has not? What is today’s image leaving out? Do you think this image will ever truly reflect the needs and aspirations of women?
2. “The feminine mystique says that the highest value and the only commitment for women is the fulfillment of their own femininity . . . this femininity is so mysterious and intuitive and close to the creation and origin of life that man-made science may never be able to understand it. But however special and different, it is in no way inferior to the nature of man; it may even in certain respects be superior.” Does the idea that women’s differences give them a kind of superiority—or at least a certain advantage—have any currency today? In what ways do you see it expressed? Do you think it holds any truth?
3. Betty Friedan writes: “I never knew a woman, when I was growing up, who used her mind, played her own part in the world, and also loved, and had children.” Discuss how the tension between work and family operates for women today. Are the expectations of men and women different in this regard? Have expectations changed? When women do try to achieve a balance, what things stand in their way? Do the scars of the feminine mystique play a role in this issue today?
4. Friedan argues that women were choosing marriage in order to avoid their fears about establishing their own identity and handling the fear and uncertainty that comes with being alone. Do you agree with her assessment? Do you agree with the causes she cites: Margaret Mead, Freud and sex-directed education, the aftermath of World War II? Do you see any evidence that women today marry for any of the same reasons? Why do women choose to marry today?
5. “[I]t is not the strength of the mothers that is at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for ‘femininity’.” Are immaturity and dependency words that are still associated with femininity? What are the qualities that the word “woman” connotes today? Discuss the possible origins of these connotations.
6. In many of her interviews with housewives, Betty Friedan found the overwhelming sentiment was: “I feel empty—as if I don’t exist.” However, as the author continues, her interviews reveal that these unhappy women are not trying to improve their situations, nor are they even aware that other women are feeling the same agony. What is the cause of their anguish? Is society forcing women to be unhappy? To what extent are these women responsible for their own situations?
7. “Perhaps it is only a sick society, unwilling to face its own problems and unable to conceive of goals and purposes equal to the ability and knowledge of its members, that chooses to ignore the strength of women.” Was the society of 1963 sick? What problems was society unwilling to face?
8. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word “feminine” first appeared in old French and was derived from the Latin word for woman (femina). The first definition of “feminism” is “the qualities of females.” What are the “qualities of females”? Are they simply qualities that men do not possess, such as the ability to bear children? If so, is it possible for men to treat women completely equally, despite being unable to share their defining characteristics? If not, what is it that makes men and women different, if anything at all?
9. Most of the text concerns the experiences of middle-class women. How were things different at the time for other socio-economic groups? While most would agree that middle-class women today do not feel bound to be housewives and do pursue their own education and careers, is this true for all women?
10. In “Metamorphosis: Two Generations Later,” Friedan moves into a new generation, which is not as plagued by the feminine mystique as the preceding one. Does Friedan seem to have new opinions and thoughts on the feminine mystique? What has changed in the space of time between the first publication of The Feminine Mystique and today? In light of these changes, what is the relevance today of the original text?